movies are my getaway.
pictures are my ultimate soul-relaxing media.
music is home.
love is life.

crap.

hmm. let's see... what am i going to spill here.
maybe i shouldn't write something sensitive. or my boss would read this, in case she starts googling my name. hehe. or probably she had read this as we speak. oh well.
whatev.


me, you, and everyone we know.

i wonder if people google that title, they'll go directly to this site.
haha. this is me not smiling. this is a sorrow haha.
a greyish-black and white sort of smile.
a sinister to my own self.
dark black marker with a bold pointed tip. with that annoying smell that u just can't get rid of.
as bitter as that thick black coffee your old neighbour made.

yet i feel...
this familiar thing i've been feeling since a long time ago.
a feeling that you just can't describe.
unlike love, if you ever feel one.
a feeling where you don't feel a thing.
like everything's just... floating.
as if that smoke stays there. not moving.

it reminds me of the silence i heard in the middle of the sea.
where the water just stay still.
and you look ahead, but there's nothing you can see but darkness.

it's colorful, that red yellow green blue orange colors, they said.
yet what i could see was greyish black. i couldn't disagree though, since i'm colorblind.
so there i stood, in silence.

was this... just a shadow passing me by? blinded for a awhile while waiting for the sun to shine.
or is this, what they simply call...
numb.

why didn't you ask for my phone number??
eugghh.

you should've.